Here's all the reviews I've done for Vice since September, I don't know if any of them got published I haven't seen the magazine in a long time.
Dense, negative hardcore like Integrity, Ringworm and that kind of thing. The problem is the lyrics are so vague, flowery and generally sixth-form-poetryesque that it’s hard to relate and get fucking angry like the singer is. Hardcore should be about real shit.
The Boy With the Digital Heart
Hidden Youth Records
This is all programmed on Gameboys or something, some of it is actually pretty moving and sad and some of it sounds a bit like ‘Showtime’ era Dizzee beats. However, it’s still the musical equivalent of wearing a NES controller belt buckle or wearing a t-shirt that says ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’.
The Resisting Dreamer
Some prog metal bands get into perfection and want to sound exactly like the ocean or a planet, but this is kind of loose and rocky and you can tell they’re still just fallible men with instruments who like boozing, which makes them infinitely more likeable than nerds with clipped goatees who don’t smile when they play.
Hold On Now, Youngster…
Remember Bromhead’s Jacket and Artrocker Magazine? Singing in English accents and wearing polo shirts with ties? All that was shit but popular three years ago, and these boring, smug students missed the boat so they’re just shit.
Our Brother The Native
Make Amends, For We Are Merely Vessels
This is pretty decent post rock with singing bits like Twilight Sad or a less screamy Circle Takes The Square, which is all well and good but guess what? They’re only fucking 17! When I was 17 I thought Rancid were revolutionary socialists and massive skate shoes were the bee’s knees.
This is so dense, emotive and powerful that it’s kind of a good explanation as to why young men get so into hardcore that they just end up awkward, autistic vinyl nerds who will never know true love.
What’s not to like about country rock done right? This sounds like Wilco with the guy from the Jesus and Mary Chain singing. Yeah that’s right, it’s really good. I don’t understand why they would admit to having the same producer as Maroon 5 in their press release though, seems like the kind of thing you’d want to keep quiet.
I’m having a rough time emotionally at the moment, not proper hard times or anything -I still have my health and I sort of have a job- it’s girl problems and shit. Anyway, this record, in all its shimmering, snail’s pace, miserable glory, has had me in the foetal position all afternoon. I'm a little fag.
This is not metal anymore but metalheads still love it cos they think Justin is a genius and should be allowed to do whatever without anyone complaining how what he does sounds more like shoegazing stuff than industrial grind these days.
Why did I get sent so much Warp stuff this month? Some of this sounds like music for car adverts and some of this is pretty emotive. It comes with a bonus disc that sounds like the score to a really sad film, which I actually like more than the main disc.
Nothing Is Underrated
Joe Lally’s bass parts were one of the main reasons Fugazi were so interesting and cool, this is kind of like the quieter songs on the last few Fugazi records but with a singer that can actually sing, I don’t know if that’s better, just different.
Destroy All Music
Rock and roll is never going to look as much like a threat to civilisation as much as it must have done in the late seventies. Why is everything so boring now?
Cavern Of Mind
It’s such a shame that someone invented the phrase ‘hipster metal’ because it makes me feel guilty for really, really liking this.
When The Deer Wore Blue
Figurines can really sing -like the Beach Boys in fact- so why are there so many boring jangly guitar passages? They should get a lovely orchestra with violins and really tug on our heartstrings.
In The Future
If I wrote for Q magazine I would call this proper rock music. This is almost totally flawless and has bits of Wilco, Sabbath, PJ Harvey and Jesus and Mary Chain in all the right places.